Eighteen years of writing about cars: Pick Six

Alfa Romeo 4C coupe: Stripped, tiny, sexy, fast
Last word
Top Six
Pics supplied
Posted: November 22, 2024
Warning: Material quoted herein was written many years ago but the world has become hypersensitive since then so some content could perhaps be interpreted as unduly sexist in nature. There is, and never was, any intention to offend so please just suck it up and enjoy the words in the spirit in which they were first written.
Every motoring journalist gets asked: “If money was no object, which car would you buy?” or similarly: ”Which car, of all those you have driven, is your favourite?” Both questions are impossible to answer because, apart from interests of neutrality, there have been so many and each one had its highlights.
If forced to decide, I could whittle the thousands down to a shortlist of about 40 deserving contenders but for the purpose of this article let’s frantically slash that list down to six.
In alphabetical order:
• 2015 Alfa Romeo 4C coupé. (Pic above)
I described it as “Stripped, tiny, sexy, fast.” It was a built-for-purpose, minimalist, supercar built to performance targets and subject to defined parameters. Intentions were noble but cost-creep made it too expensive for regular Alfisti.
It weighed only 895 kg dry and was powered by Alfa’s 1742 cc, all-aluminium, twin cam, four-cylinder turbomotor – from Giulietta 1750 TBi Quadrifoglio Verde – delivering 177 kilowatts and 350 Nm. Zero to 100 km/h came up in 4.5 seconds and it topped out at 258 km/h. It was tiny; 3989 mm long on a wheelbase of 2380 mm, 1864 wide and 1183 mm low.
I described its unassisted steering as “direct, tactile and responsive; communicating directly with muscle, mind and soul.” Lateral acceleration up to 1.1g, maximum deceleration of 1.25g and an almost scarily intuitive, and responsive, six-speed DCT rendered it exquisite. Ride was a bit harsh on any but the most forgiving surfaces though. One can’t have everything.
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/alfa_romeo/2015_alfa_romeo_4c_coupe

• 2016 Ford Mustang 5.0 GT.
I warned: “Don’t buy a Mustang V8 GT if you’re naturally shy – gate guards keep you talking longer than necessary, gardeners and school kids hang over fences for a better view, supermarket workers join the Zimbabwean car guards to look and take selfies, and little old white ladies studiously ignore it. It encapsulates Badass.”
The engine was a “Coyote” 4951 cc, quad-cam, 32-valve, naturally aspirated V8 whacking out 306 kilowatts and 530 Newton-metres. Zero to 100 km/h in 4.8 seconds, top speed governed to 260. Ford SA threw in the overseas-optional Performance Pack – uprated brakes, 19” wheels and tyres, heavy duty front springs, special chassis tuning, higher-capacity radiator, LSD, braced front suspension and (on Fastback) an upsized rear sway bar – as a freebie.

It isn’t very practical as a family car because the back seat is designed for tiny people. On the other hand, it’s possibly the most beautifully sculpted parcel shelf in all Motordom.
Mustang has been voted “Women’s Favourite Sports Car.” This young fan agrees
Further, the boot is decently sized and accessible. And the backrests fold down to extend cargo area. Americans wouldn’t tolerate anything less. There are some quicker and more powerful mid-life crisis machines out there, but most of them cost much more. And but a tiny handful possess this one’s style of Soul.
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/ford/review_2016_ford_mustang_50_gt

• 2011 Peugeot (308) RCZ 1.6 THP manual.
Not a hollow cube for painless wafting of kids and goods but a sleek and potent transporter of one or two persons whose minds are far from thoughts of family responsibility, carrying just enough luggage to get by. Its purpose is in the Going There.
It’s a Jekyll and Hyde machine – your sister’s 308 or its evil twin. It can be driven quickly yet quietly, or you can let the revs climb, work the ‘box and rip away the mask of civility. Let your hands and feet make music together, get its mojo working, let it bark on the upshifts and rasp on the downs. Hear it howl – like a catfight down at the supermarket loading dock.
Powered by a turbocharged 1600 cc, Peugeot/BMW Prince engine developing 147 kW and 257 Nm, it raced to 100 km/h in 7.8 seconds and peaked at 231. With uprated front suspension, widened tracks, bigger brakes and an automatically-deploying spoiler, it was not only sporty but reasonably practical too.
Briefly it was as sexy as hell, went like the clappers and made petrol-head music. Probably impractical if there are still children in your world, but as there is life beyond the parenting zone, or perhaps before it, expand, embrace and enjoy while you can.
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/peugeot/2011_peugeot_rcz_16_thp

• 2020 Mègane Renault Sport 300 Trophy.
I wrote: “Subtlety is for wimps. Renault Sport (RS) does not do that. Look at the thing. It comes only in three dedicated colours; Tonic Orange, Sirius Yellow and Pearl White. OK, that one’s probably for owners with less flamboyant personalities, but you get my drift.”
Then there’s that body with its flared wheel arches and air grilles; F1-inspired front splitter; aggressive rear diffuser; RS and double diamond badges; chequered flag and RS 300 Trophy decals; one huge exhaust outlet signalling road music to die for (no artificial sound box, mon frére); red Brembo calipers over ventilated discs at both ends and Jerez triple-tone alloy wheels shod with 245/35R19 Bridgestone Potenza S001 tyres. And Renault Sport’s Cup chassis with uprated suspension and limited-slip differential.
Power provided by a 1798 cc, four-cylinder 16-valve turbopetrol motor developing 221 kW and up to 420 Nm on overboost, it did 0-100 in 5.7 and topped out at 260 km/h (manual) or 255 (automatic).
It accelerated like a race horse after steroids for breakfast, snarled like an RS should and could be encouraged to twitch its perky little derrière occasionally; even though Renault swore they’d engineered such flirtatiousness out of it. Thank heaven they failed.
It was fun, as always, but one young fan summed it up well. He sat inside for a moment, absorbing the ambiance. But took no selfie. Strange kid. He then asked politely to see the engine. I showed him the crowded compartment and gave him a rundown of the specs; 221 kilowatts or 300 horsepower, 400 Newton-metres and nought to 100 in 5.7 seconds – slightly quicker than a Mustang 2.3 turbo. He remained silent but his eyes went big and his body language said it all: “Holy Corona, Batman”. Then came the kicker: “Please adopt me?”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/renault/review_2020_megane_renault_sport_300_trophy

• 2013 Subaru BRZ.
Mostly similar to Toyota’s 8-6 sport coupé, power was provided by a 1998 cc, DOHC Boxer four-cylinder developing 154 kW and 205 Nm. Zero to 100 km/h in 7.6 and top speed of 226.
But it filled the room; an elephant that could not be ignored. Every Subaru salesperson was asked but had to fall back on PR-speak from the factory because no-one provided definitive answers. The question: Is Subaru’s BRZ really worth R55 000 more than the Toyota 8-6 High-spec manual?
The most notable differences were BRZ’s aggressive wing, its front bumper and the suspension tuning: The Subaru was slightly firmer up front, with stiffer springs and damper valving. Rear suspensions were alike but, with its stiffer front end, BRZ was tuned to be less tail-happy in corners. Put another way; Toyota 8-6 was more of a drifter, while BRZ was set up to emulate the traditional Subaru all-wheel drive feel. As for the exhaust, it was locally developed and freed up a further 7 kW of power, bringing BRZ’s total to 154.
The point is that it worked and, although its almost-twin was a grand little sports car, the difference was like chalk and cheese. While Toyota 8-6 might have been described as “alright!” Subaru BRZ was “all-gasmic.” It felt planted, more solid, always totally in control; there was less wind and road noise and the power kept on delivering. And let’s not forget the engine note that touched your inner werewolf. “Give it horns and your face feels hairier, your teeth grow longer, your pulses race, and you just want to howl at the moon.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/subaru/2013_subaru_brz

• 2011 Volkswagen Scirocco R.
I wrote back then: “Women, especially wives, might not approve of the Volkswagen Scirocco R and its effect on men. It’s more than just the cute little sports car the standard version is. The ‘R’ squats. It is low. It is mean. Almost ugly, it exudes menace and a siren call of sensual promise no flesh-and-blood inamorata can match. Her next door speaks Woman and can therefore be manipulated, won over, neutralised. But Scirocco R and others of her breed speak in tongues only Man can comprehend and no mortal male can resist. They are Lorelei, Delilah and Morgana Le Fay. They are creations every man must possess at least once before he dies.”
Apart from cosmetic additions like special front and rear bumpers, a grille with huge air dams, sill extensions and a reworked rear with aggressive pipes and diffuser all courtesy of R-Design g.m.b.h, it has been given special 19” Talladega wheels, its own interior and significantly bigger brakes. Even the base engine has been changed. Rather than use the EA888 motor fitted to lesser two-litre Sciroccos, the older EA113 was reworked, strengthened and given a new head, turbocharger and intercooler. In so doing, an additional 33 kW of power and 70 Nm of torque were found (R outputs came to 188 kW and 350 Nm; 0-100 km/h in 6.0 seconds and top speed of 250 km/h.). Then they made the car snuggle down closer to Mother Earth – 10 mm closer, and gave it some new handling kit.
Springs, dampers and anti-roll bars were modified to suit the lower seating positions and weight distribution of this car. Then they fitted XDS, an electronic cross-axle traction control system for improved traction and handling. This is a functional extension of the electronic limited slip differential, in its turn part of the standard Electronic Stabilisation Program (ESP). XDS differs from the electronic differential however, in that it brakes the inner wheel before it loses traction rather than afterwards. The result is smoother, more sure-footed and safer progress with better traction through fast corners when on the limit of adhesion.
So what was it like to drive? It wasn’t only about sprinting up to 100 km/h in six seconds but the turbocharged belt in the kidneys and the little twitch as you whacked the throttle open, the way it cornered in grooves rather than on rails and the way it made you feel just so darned competent. For this kind of rush, no human liaison amoureuse comes close.
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/volkswagen/2011_volkswagen_scirocco_r
And: I plan to bring you a further Pick Six soon, so watch this space…