Welcome
This is the home of automobile road tests in South Africa. I drive South African cars, SUVs and LCVs under real-world South African conditions. Some of the vehicles driven are world cars as well, so what you read here possibly applies to the models you get where you live.
Contact: gordon@administrator
Although I have decided to retire from writing about new cars I shall keep this site open for the time being. My latest project is old cars. The home page can be found here: https://oldcars.net.za/home-page/

The next Pick Six
Gasoline Porn
Pics supplied
Posted: December 3, 2024
Every motoring journalist gets asked: “If money was no object, which car would you buy?” or similarly: ”Which car, of all those you have driven, was best?” Both questions are impossible to answer, so I named six of my favourites here: https://scarletpumpkin.com/SARoadtests/?page_id=2477

Now for half a dozen more, in alphabetical order:
• 2008 – 2013 Chevrolet Lumina sedan and pickup. Rebadged and re-developed six-litre Holdens with sporting intent and plenty of US input, I described the sedan as: “like a straight-talkin’, straight-shootin’ country gal – she stares you in the face, hauls you close and tells you exactly what she wants. Right here, right now. And you’d better deliver, or you and she are done.”
My last words on the run-out pickup in 2013 ran: “People who are into such things have Mommy Porn in the fictitious person of Christian Grey in ‘Fifty Shades’. We boys and those real women who love to drive have, for the foreseeable future at least, Gasoline Porn. It’s real and it’s called Chevrolet Lumina. We’ll miss it.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/chevrolet/2008_chevrolet_lumina_ss_manual
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/chevrolet/2013_chevrolet_lumina_ssv_ute

• 2021 Fiat 500 Sport Coupé. 875 ccs, spread across two cylinders, and turbocharged to rip out 62.5 kilowatts and 145 Newton-metres, I described it like this: “Does it rasp? Does it growl? Does it bring out your inner wickedness? It will if you let it and you would be churlish not to.”
And: “Does it return, in the real world, the kind of fuel economy figures its maker (3.8 l/100 km) or Car magazine (4.8 l/100 km) claim for it? I challenge you to try but, if you have an ounce of gusto in your soul, you’ll fail miserably. That 875 cc, two-cylinder, turbomotor is simply too much fun to waste.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/fiat/review_2021_fiat_500_875t

• 2016 Ford Focus ST3. ‘Driving pleasure distilled’ and ‘Enthusiast’s machine of choice’, I said back then. Its 1998 cc turbocharged motor delivered 184 kW at 5500 rpm and a delirious 360 Nm in a torque band stretching from 2000 to 4500 revs. My opening line? “Badass biotches do it in Screaming Tangerine.” That was one of the special colours available.
Drop-dead sexy ST3 differentiated itself from plainer ST1 with Recaro seats, sports instrumentation, road hugging suspension, responsive steering, bigger brakes, slick-shifting six-speed manual ‘box, a full house of safety kit and comprehensive connectivity. I wrapped with: “Suspension is very firm, steering is almost uncomfortably heavy until you get properly mobile, the soundtrack is magnificent and Ford hasn’t sissified all the character out of it. It can be a handful, if you play rough without knowing how take charge, but that’s what makes truly sporting hatches so addictive.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/ford/review_2016_ford_focus_st3

• 2009 to 2022 Jeep Wrangler and Gladiator. Originally available with either a 2.8 diesel or 3.7- and 3.8-litre petrol engines, our 2022 test vehicle had the petrol-powered 3.6 that’s still in use today.
I described them like this: “Apart from being possibly the most off-road capable pickup available, Gladiator enables choices as the weather changes – semi-hard top, soft top or no top. Doors may be removed and windscreens folded. Tools are included.
“It also has boondock-specific features that others don’t: Not just one, but two, electrically switched differential locks; front sway bar disconnection to increase wheel articulation by thirty percent; two levels of 4High; extra skid plates and reinforcing bars …”
I summed it up with: “the Wrangler is made for archetypical off-road fans who appreciate solid simplicity and have little patience with sissified fancy bits.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/jeep/2009_jeep_wrangler_sahara_28_crd_unlimited
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/jeep/2022_jeep_gladiator_rubicon_36

• 2011 Land Rover Defender 110 Multipurpose (station wagon). Extracts from that review: “(Proper off-road) vehicles need to be able to get by on fuel that is sometimes dodgy and keep going when a fancier alternative would be just plain broken. When the chips are down, it should be repairable by its owner or an informal mechanic in some outer reach of human settlement where time is plentiful and spares are scarce.
“Driving one is reminiscent of the “slow food” principle. You do not hurry a Defender. The engine puts out only 90 kW, so there is no zero to 100-km/h “dash.” It is more a leisurely amble, although 360 Nm of low-down grunt, combined with low range gearing when needed, means it will keep on ambling over, through and across almost anything, long after Oak Park shopping carts have given up. Changing gear is equally deliberate – into neutral, into the next gear – two clicks. Thank you. Trying to hurry the process leads to a scolding, so don’t do it. “
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/land_rover__range_rover/2011_land_rover_defender_110_multipurpose

• 2012 Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG Coupé. It could never go unnoticed: It was simply “that kind of car… when it’s in motion, leaves drift, houses tremble and dogs fall respectfully silent. It isn’t necessarily loud; it simply emits the kind of authoritative rumble one hears when Thor enters the building or the Dark Lord returns to give young Harry yet more grief.”
And: “Driving the C63, one is conscious of huge power waiting to be unleashed, steering feel that is responsive and rock solid, yet less intense than some of its awd competitors. And the ever-present feeling that you’re lap dancing with a Dark being that could swat you aside if you displeased it. It’s almost scary.”
https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/mercedes_benz/2012_mercedes-benz_c63_amg_coupe
The 2015 update was excellent too: https://www.scarletpumpkin.com/mercedes_benz/review_2015_mercedes-amg_c63s_edition_1
My apologies, once again, if you found any descriptions to be too chauvinistic for modern tastes. It was the way we wrote, back then, before the world turned anxious and hypersensitive.
Want to ask a question, comment or just tell me you completely disagree with what I say? If you want advice or have a genuine concern, I will be happy to hear from you. All I ask is that you write something in the subject line so I know which vehicle you’re talking about, because I have no other way of knowing that you’re referring to the one on this particular page. And, by the way, I do not sell cars. I just drive them and write about them.

Archived reviews and opinion pieces are filed separately, so look for previously filed launch reports and reviews under each manufacturer’s page. Headings are in the blue banner across the top. These will be added to as new test cars become available. For material filed prior to January 2023, please go back to www.scarletpumpkin.com and then follow the live menu down the left hand side until you find the make and model you are looking for.
Editor’s note: SA Roadtests accepts multi-day vehicle loans from manufacturers in order to provide editorial reviews. All vehicle reviews are conducted on our turf and on our terms.
For out-of-province vehicle launch features however, travel costs are covered by the manufacturer concerned. This is common in the motor industry, as it’s more economical to ship journalists to cars than to ship cars to journalists.
Judgments and opinions expressed on this site are our own. We do not accept paid editorial content or ads of any kind.
What We Do
This is a one-man show, which means that every car reviewed is thoroughly researched, given my personal evaluation and receives my own seat of the pants judgement – no second hand input here.
Every test car goes through real world driving; on city streets littered with potholes, speed bumps and rumble strips, on freeways and if its profile demands, dirt roads or goat tracks as well. As a result, my test cars do occasionally get dirty. It’s all part of the reviewing process.
I do my best to include relevant information like real life fuel economy or a close mathematical calculation, boot size or luggage space, whether the space is both usable and accessible, whether life-sized people can use the back seat (where that applies), basic specs of the vehicle and performance figures if they are published. In the case of clearly identified launch reports, fuel figures are of necessity the laboratory numbers provided with the release material.
If ever I place an article that doesn’t cover most things, it’s probably because I have dealt with a very similar vehicle already, so you will be able to find what you want in another report under the same manufacturer’s heading in the menu above or down the left side on my original site, www.scarletpumpkin.com.
Hope you like what you see, because there are no commercial interests at work here. There are no advertisers and no “editorial policy” rules. I add bylines to acknowledge sponsored launch functions and the manufacturers or dealerships that provide the test vehicles. And, as quite a few readers have found, I answer every serious enquiry from my home email address, with my phone numbers attached, so you can see I do actually exist.

Excellent I agree with most