SA Road Tests

LOCKDOWN FEVER:

After a number of days with nothing new to drive we became a little stir-crazy. This led to revolutionary thoughts. Please bear with us during this difficult time.

Is your car a Nanny State?

Pics sourced                                                                                                                                           Posted: March 31, 2020

One can, in certain instances, believe that governments have citizens’ interests at heart when infringing upon or curtailing freedoms of speech, choice and movement.
 
Covid-19 regulations have most of us effectively under house arrest, remote scanners check whether our cars are speeding or have outstanding tickets, laws restrict what we may and may not do within our homes and offices, and cameras watch us wherever we go. Although traffic-cams at intersections help television cops solve intricate mysteries within single, 45-minute episodes, they are intrusive. So is tapping into GPS apps, in cars or on cellular phones, to track one’s every movement; in case we infect somebody. That’s the PR version.

Rules are there for The Greater Good, politicians tell us. But who asked for them?

Much the same goes for the car you drive:
•    You’re nagged to do up your seatbelt even though it’s the sensible thing to do - and is the law anyway,
•    Your car with automatic transmission won’t start unless your foot is on the brake. Never mind that it must be in Park or Neutral anyway and many new cars won’t let you switch off the ignition unless Park has been engaged,
•    Your manual-gearbox car won’t start unless you engage the clutch. Doing so reduces loads on the starter motor, but Big Brother’s actually afraid the vehicle might jerk an inch forward if you try starting while the car’s in gear. It could, one time in a million, be dangerous so the manufacturer must protect you,
•   Some cars scream if you open a door to unlock your gate or check that you’ve successfully parked within the too-narrow space provided. Others shut down altogether; for your safety, of course.

Don’t forget blind spot monitoring, automated distancing from the car in front while using the fancy version of cruise control, automatic braking if the cyclist ahead of you wobbles or a self-absorbed pedestrian steps off the kerb without looking, the lane-keeping aid, the speedometer dial that turns red when you exceed some speed limit that only the car knows about, because its signpost scanner is faulty, and reminders to change gear when revs reach a certain level.

The car cannot see whether you’re approaching a hill or corner and, more often than not, exhorts you to select a higher ratio while the seat of your pants warns you to change down because the engine’s beginning to labour.

And how about lobbyists who demand that all cars be fitted with electronic stability control; for users who never learned to drive or are unable to use whatever inborn intelligence they might have.

My personal favourite was the car that buzzed a warning if speed reached 125 km/h; because the national limit is 120 and “it’s for your own good.” Another silly one was the warning displayed when passing some arbitrary limit while the sun roof was open. I was testing for practical maximum speed before noise or buffeting made driving uncomfortable. I thought readers might like to know, is all.

Getting back to cruise control, its supporters insist that it’s vitally necessary to prevent unconsciously exceeding speed limits. Unconsciously is right; switch brain back on and watch speedo. It’s easy enough.
 
My main gripe against cruise control is that, being ultimately responsible for everything the car does, I choose not to relinquish command of a dangerous weapon to doubtful electronics. I also hate careening loosely around corners at high speeds with the car in top gear. And praying that electronic aids will stop it tipping over. Back in the day, drivers learned car control; dabbing brakes to settle the car on its suspension to stabilise it, then engaging a gear appropriate for the speed and corner.
 
So: Do modern cars nanny you? Yes. Are those fancy gadgets necessary? No. Do they make the car any better? No. Would you like to regain control of your life? I hope so. Tell your car maker that.



 Scanners check whether our cars are speeding or have outstanding tickets

Comments or questions?
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